The Path I had embarked on, I thought, was the one that would take me from Point A (cashed up corporate warrior) to Point B (similarly well-paid senior position) in a relatively short period of time. Even though I had been raised in an environment which acknowledged the ‘invisible spiritual realm’, the last thing on my mind in May 2011 was an inward journey.
But one thing I’ve learned about the Universe: it’s middle name is Surprise.
By early (southern) winter the winds of Life had stopped blowing. I’m not a sailor but it was as if my boat had glided into the Equatorial doldrums. The ocean was absolutely still. Not even a ripple caressed the surface. I had no sense of direction.
I was raised on the Christian scriptures by a proud evangelical father. Seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you. I no longer identify as a Christian, but those words of Jesus are an essential part of my spiritual reality. So, when it became clear around June that I was unlikely to slide into another senior role as easily as I imagined, I began to seek, knock and ask with more urgency. Not in panic but with a desire to understand where I might be heading.
I was met with deafening silence. Every door I knocked upon remained firmly closed. Meditation and contemplation were ineffective. It was sunny and bright but my boat was drifting and bobbing on the water. The air was eerily still.
The doldrums continued throughout July. In August a friend recommended I contact his astrologer, who, he claimed, had helped him land the job of his dreams a couple years earlier. She was a soft-spoken woman with a lilting voice that sent calm even through Skype.
She suggested that the coming year or so would be defined by extensive change. Everything about my life was up for grabs. Career. Family life. Life Purpose. The future, though, was truly exciting. She said I needed to be aware of a few things like isolating myself and not taking care of my health. There was lots of work (contracts) hovering around me, she claimed. And sure enough, within a few days I had two new assignments confirmed!
“Be sure to Meditate a lot.”
Since I was raised in a conservative Christian home, deep skepticism lurked in my heart toward these sorts of readings. So I thought I’d get a second opinion. I was in Cairns on a consulting assignment. It was a town I had never been to and so I flicked through the local Yellow Pages. Not sure even what I was looking for, I saw a small ad for a Tarot Reader and Psychic. I called and made an appointment for that evening.
I found him on the outskirts of town. I was struck by the mundane suburban house he lived in. Where were the velvet curtains and dark grotto hanging with vines? There was not a flickering candle in sight. I was relieved but cheesed off at the same time. I wanted an experience, dammit. Not an hour in Joe Ordinary’s basement.
The Reader was not as friendly as the astrologer had been. He had a slight foreign accent and had a bit too much bling around his tanned neck. I felt my resistance take control. Still, I let him take my palm when he asked me to sit down.
He studied my hand and then went through a deck of cards. Change was everywhere. He saw death of all kinds, and turmoil for the next 18 months or so. “What you are really seeking”, he said, “is true love. You’ve never experienced it.” The next phase of my life, he insisted several times, would be by far the best and most accomplished phase yet.
“Watch your health. And meditate!”
As I made my way back to Cairns I marvelled at how these two strangers had sensed the same energy around me. I knew neither of them and they knew nothing of my circumstances. Indeed, within 9 months my mother and elder brother would both be dead. The months that followed turned out to be the most disruptive, challenging and difficult in my adult life. In a little more than 18 months I was working in another country and separated from my family in Melbourne.
Strangely though, the two readings gave me encouragement, as well as a frame to consider my Life within. CHANGE. TRANSITION. TRANSFORMATION.
Being a practical fellow who likes to have cash in his pocket for his hobbies I still wanted to know how this would translate into making a living. The astrologer told me to spend time reflecting deeply on what I really wanted to do. The psychic told me to go into the ‘Cave’ and meditate. The answer would definitely come.
Nine months into my new life I was well on my way. The only problem was Point B was not exactly where I thought it was, or should be. Suddenly, and without much drama, I discovered myself to be a traveller on a completely unexpected inner journey. A journey I am still on and at last understand, I have always been on.
Around the same time I received the first Word from the Spirit.
[A note on the image at the top of the blog. I love Indian calendar art and this is an example from the 1920s. It depicts Mahavidya Kamalatmika, an aspect of Goddess Laxmi. I selected the picture purely because it pleased me aesthetically. But I was tickled to discover that she is the goddess of inner and outer prosperity!]